It is indeed possible to walk away from an LGBT life. With man it is impossible, but with God all things are possible. Years after I had walked from my gay life, I moved to Central Florida. My father came to visit, so I took him to church with me. After service, my pastors took us to lunch. We went to the second best place besides church, Cracker Barrel. My dad is an introvert, but he loves to eat, so eating won out. Picture it. At one point in my journey I had been a man who had sworn off relationship with my dad and Christian men. Here I was, willingly having lunch with all of the above. God’s redemptive power at work!

The pastors began to ask my father questions. My father told my story, through his eyes. He shared. I wept. I realized that I had never once considered my father’s emotions or perspective. I had not purposefully been selfish or malicious, but I had still been selfish. My actions had brought hurt and harm to my father’s heart. I had not seen this, because I had focused on my own trauma for years. As I listened to my father’s words, witnessing tears rooted in anguish and victory, I was whisked away to the threshold between humility and humiliation. It was a good place to be. A necessary place. A place God would take me to time and time again. God opened up my heart and field of vision as I cried into a plate of corn muffins and pot roast. The Holy Spirit showed me the full view just beyond my myopic and self serving ramblings that day.

If you are a Christian parent with a child who identifies as LGBT+, your story matters as well. Your emotions are valid. Your child has no right to force you back into the closet from whence they came. Chances are your child has spent many years marinating in their thoughts and struggles. They have had much time to reason and hammer out conclusions, yet now that they have come out, there is an expectation of compliance for you. You can’t be expected to know what to say or feel after a 20-30 minute, one-sided conversation. It is not fair or acceptable for anyone to expect that of you. Your child has had oodles and oodles of time to formulate an opinion. You deserve the same courtesy. Christian parents need time to process; in the same way their LGBT child has had time. If you are a parent, then you might have to set up some boundaries, while lovingly letting your child know that you love them, but need time to pray and process this new information. Parents, although your child is living according to their beliefs, as a Christian we are called to live according to the standard of the Bible. If you are a child who has just come out to your parents, I would ask that you give your parents the time and space you have been afforded. They will need it.

Stand strong in your faith mom and dad. Represent unconditional love for your child, but remind them of God’s word, will and design for their lives. As they boldly share their beliefs rooted in the ever changing tide of human emotion, boldly share your beliefs rooted in the absolute truth of scripture. Parents, you are the only one on standing on solid ground in this exchange of ideals. We know according to scripture that a fully engaged LGBT life is not God’s design for anyone. This is going to be one of the hardest spiritual battles you will fight. Your child is going to defy your stance and the standard of God’s word. They are going to amass a group of supporters that disagree with your beliefs and encourage their sinful choices. This is not a popularity contest. Stand firm. You answer to God, not any other human. Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world. No matter how hard I tried to indoctrinate my father into believing that gay was okay, He loved me, but stood firm on God’s word. My father could share scripture with me, because he knew scripture.

Let me ask you parents. Do you know the scripture that will bring resurrection life to your child? Do you live according to Psalm 119:11 “I have hidden Your word in my heart that I might not sin against You.”? Or Proverbs 7 “…keep My words, and treasure my commands within you…write them on the tablet of your heart.” If you are not practicing the tenets of your faith and living according to biblical principles, how will you show your children the value of a life lived with Jesus? Do you believe that scripture is God breathed? That scripture is powerful?

God eventually honored my father’s 3 A.M. prayers. No matter what my father saw playing out in my life, Dad only believed the word of God and prayed that I would return to Jesus. Eventually, I did. My life, my ministry of 21 years and the lives of those I’ve helped walk out of homosexuality, can be traced back to the bold, tenacious prayers of my father. He wasn’t an educated man, but he was wise, loved God and believed in the power of scripture and prayer. Dad was fond of quoting James 5:16 “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”

I say this plainly and with biblical certainty. An LGBT identified person, is deceived by satan. I lived as a gay man. I even claimed to be a gay Christian. I didn’t just feel gay, gay was my identity. Satan hijacked my God-given sensitivity, wrecked my emotions and isolated me from people. 1 Peter 5:8 says “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” Satan’s goal is to isolate and destroy every human. No matter what your kids say or do, stay physically present in their lives, and if you they cut you off, then stay spiritually present in their lives. Love them as Jesus would. Ask Jesus how for guidance. Ask God for strength when you want to give up.

I will leave you with a very bold, authoritative, knowledgeable and experienced opinion. If your child is living a full on LGBT life, STAY AWAY from ALL of their social media. Satan will use photos and posts to discourage you, sow seeds of hopelessness and convince you to stop praying. A mom told me that her son doesn’t communicate with her, so his social media is her only connection to his life. Ergo all she knew of his life was discouraging and hopeless. You don’t need to see your child’s social media to know how to pray for them. You know they need Jesus. That is the first prayer. Jesus will succeed at leading them down the path we have been trying to drag them down. I have watched so many parents stalk their kid’s social media accounts. The devil uses it to ransack their minds and prayer life. If you are stalking your child’s social media, get off it this week. If you choose not to take my advice, then might I ask that you try fasting from it for one week. At week’s end, assess your feelings and make an informed decision on how to proceed. Let me encourage you to replace your time of stalking with focused prayer and declarations of scripture over their lives. Write a daily affirmation that you can speak over their life. My friend Nick not only told the devil that he can’t have his daughter, but Nick speaks this daily declaration over her; “Today is the day!” Amen Nick. TODAY IS THE DAY! A day of hope. A day of rapture. A day of recognition. Let out son and our daughters come to Jesus from the highways and the deserts. for his daughter to claim the name of Jesus.

Keep praying. Keep believing. God loves your child more than you ever could. He gave them life. He also wants to give them freedom.